5 Things to Scorn From the First Decade of the New Millenium

#5. The Many Wars of George W. Bush

Bush the Second, among his myriad of faults and deficiencies, somehow managed to "win" two terms in office.  His presidency will be forever marred by a politics  based on the "end-times" theory: it's the end-times folks, so who gives a rat's ass about the (i.e., economy, foriegn relations, infrastructure, planet, sinners, blue states, voters, truth, etc.).  Not only did GW start two wars, neither of which are popular now and one of which never should have been started apparently, but he also propelled forward the culture wars begun by the lovely Reagan's.  The Drug War, being the most popular, my favorite though is the less known War against the Gays.  This war actually won over voters for Bush II in 2004's election.  So-called "values" voters came out, supposedly, in force to help propel the War against the Gays forward and keep GW in office.  Needless to say, I could go on, but because I hate the man so much, I won't.

#4.  The Collapse of Civilization: CROCS

Okay, folks.  Maybe they are comfortable.  Maybe they are functional.  Maybe they make you feel like you're wearing nothing at all, but COME ON!!!  They are UGLY as SIN and not nearly as much fun!  Here's an experiment you should try:
1.  Take your pair of Crocs
2.  Use a shoestring to link them together
3.  Throw them over the nearest telephone wire
4.  Leave them there
5.  Rinse (because you touched those nasty crocs)
6.  Repeat (because you probably have another pair!)


#3.  Further Proof of the Collapse of Civilization: UGGS

It's in the NAME people UGGLY UGGS!!!Maybe, again, they are comfortable.  Maybe they keep your feet warm.  Maybe they are your favorite pair of boot-type foot wear. But that DOESN'T make it right.  I would suggest trying the same experiment as above; however, an even better thing to do is this:  Since they are SO expensive and since you  may have waited months to get your ugly-ass pair of boots, donate them to the local Salvation Army or Goodwill and let them profit from your mistake.  Better yet, if you need your money back, call the company and complain about how ugly they are.  The worst that could happen is they give you a free second pair---UGH, I mean UGG!

#2. "Truthiness" in News Broadcasting: The Rise of Faux News

The word 'truthiness', first coined by Stephen Colbert (pictured) on his conservative news program on Comedy Central--a bastion of hard-hitting journalism--is what he defines as a gut-feeling that he gets about the world, much in the way that GW Bush knew things "in his gut" rather than up there in his wishy-washy, elitist head.  Unfortunately, truthiness in news broadcasting has become a dangerous proponent of opinion-based "news"  60% of all the programs on Fox News Channel are NOT news programs, but opinion programs.  Further, the 40% of news programs tend to then "report" on the hearsay and conjecture that their sister opinion programs throw out into the void of media.  Truthiness in the way Colbert imparts it is heart-warming, poking fun at those idiots at Fox who either dumb themselves down to appeal to the audience of yokels watching or who use emotional outbursts and machismo to, hmmmmmm. . . appeal to the audience of yokels watching.  If I could have truthiness from Colbert and some semblence of truth from what passes as news, rather than continuous reporting on Michael Jackson's trial or Tiger Wood's affairs or some other bullsh*t, that would be aight.

#1.  Republicans: The Party of NO

Need I say more?